Saturday, December 18, 2004
Black Car
Not winter, but whatever.
It’s 33 degrees with a wind chill factor of 30, I am shivering, and I can already start to see the icicles forming on my individually placed pomade-lathered strands of hair. Merino wool is not as warm as I had presumed.
Then I clench it between my fingers. And like that first vodka tonic, a wave of almost supernatural heat rushes from my hand throughout my body, warming and revitalizing my every inch. The source–my voucher. Oh yes, the voucher–my solace after an 18 hour day, my saviour–even better than an MD sponsored lap-dance at Scores.
I can already see myself inside, laughing at the hoi polloi walking to their subways and taking their yellow taxis. I can already feel the cheap leather I pretend is expensive massaging my aching buttocks. I can hear myself commanding the driver in his cute black uniform as if he were the pool boy at my parents cottage in East Hampton. It’s my own little paradise.
Too bad there are f*ing 15 people in line in front of me.
December 15th, 2005 at 11:09 pm
I LOVE this blog! Keep it coming!
December 18th, 2005 at 10:04 pm
I agree, I am laughing my ass off! However, most of this shit rings very very true.
March 4th, 2006 at 3:03 pm
even after 14 blog entries, this one?s still my favorite.
May 16th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
Know what? If you are going to attempt at being elitist, at least recognize ”the hoi polloi” is inncorrect. ”The” is redundant. Know what the f*** you are talking about, and until then, enjoy riding in a towncar (Not even a Cartier S edition? Loser.)
May 30th, 2006 at 9:36 am
Some urge that since “hoi??? is the article “the hoi polloi??? is redundant; but the general rule is that articles such as ”the??? and “a??? in foreign language phrases cease to function as such in place names, brands, and catch phrases except for some of the most familiar ones in French and Spanish, where everyone recognizes “la”??”for instance??”as meaning “the.??? “The El Nino??? is redundant, but “the hoi polloi??? is standard English.
June 12th, 2006 at 6:25 pm
excellent grammar lesson.
June 23rd, 2006 at 12:47 pm
If you are going to try to sound smart on an anonymous blog, the least you can do it re-word the information you just learned from a google search. http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/hoipolloi.html
December 15th, 2006 at 9:07 pm
Or you could learn how to type ..
January 26th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
So many stupid pretentious bastards on this board! The ”bydlo”, the riff-raff of this world, thanks for helping me practice my English motherfuckers!
March 31st, 2007 at 6:26 pm
This site is great but when the f**k is the author going to post some new stuff?